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Yo Bob! [Aug. 23rd, 2005|06:29 pm]
Sorry, i dont have enough time for the pleasentries of idle writting. Im in an internet cafe in Jerusalem now and it costs a lot of money for each minute.

Bob could you remind Professor ramirez that I will not be there for his first 2 classes.
If any of my other friends read this could you plz tell bob.

Thank you .

CU guys soon.
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(no subject) [Aug. 13th, 2005|06:37 pm]
right this minute I'm drunk.

Just thoughtn you shouoild know
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Okay, this is the end!!!!!!!!!! [Aug. 10th, 2005|04:44 am]
I had a great time with you guys this summer.
Drunking sleepovers and trips to SD
Oh no!!!!!! What fun
My favorite Baronism "I smell inferiority"
My favorite Phillipism "Shmegroe"
Great times had by all but especially by me.
I love you guyS
CPM forever

P.S. Notice what time it is, I would write more but again look at the time of this post.
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Now I might be crazy. (ac) [Aug. 4th, 2005|11:43 pm]
But am I going out on a limb here in my hatred of the Palestinians.

All Palestinian political authorities think human rights include their rights to manipulate and enlave their peasants. And because Palestinians are Palestinians they quickly blame all their misfortune on, who else? The Jews, and those evil Americans who are controlled by those stinking Jews. Because just like a petulant child who just got caught fighting with his younger brother the Palestinians are always quick to blame other forces for their shitty existence. Of course they don't blame their own evil political figures. No that would be too complicated. Instead they blame the Jews. But heres an insane thought maybe they should start looking at whose really to blame for their crappy existence. Stop looking for scapegoats you bloody cocker's and grow the fuck up. Oil wells don't last forever.
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Finally, 6 days and 12 hours from now.... [Aug. 3rd, 2005|11:26 pm]
I will be free of my isolated, bicycle-limited prison. Thank G-d!!!!!!!!
I hate having nothing to do. It pisses me off and scares the shit out of me at the same time. I've planned out this trip so thoroughly that I have a map of Rome, literally stuck to a table with pins like a campaign map. Every route of everyday by myself is planned, marvulous, stupendous, supercalifragulisticexpialidocious........
I have a plan to protect my valuables too.
My guidebook states, "Children have long been a particular menace, although the problem isn't as severe as in years past. If they completely surround you, you'll often have to virtually fight them off. They might approach you with pieces of cardboard hiding their stealing hands."

Here is my plan (the camera zooms in on my sinister eyes);

After I get out of Termini Station, I look for an Italian kid. The very first one I see thats smaller then me I punch in the face. Hard enough to bruise, but not seriously injure. And then I start to yell at the top of my lungs, "I'm American, I believe in preemptive strikes bitch. Tell all your little friends that they should walk clear of me are else." I walk a few steps away turn my head to look at the kid again and I say. "By the way, nice pants."

2 resulting events are possible if I do this.

1. The kid could stare into space for a few minutes trying to figure out what happened and then slowly slink away, telling his friends what happened. Those friends tell other friends and by evening every kid in Italy knows whats up.
The first result assumes that Romans are the same as Los Angelenos. But what if Romans are different and do give a shit about each-other.
2. In this case I'd go to jail for five years.

Assume for a minute that I dont have the balls to perform plan 1. I have another plan. In case you didn't know I have a lot of axes to grind. But I might be able to take care of one with the second plan. Since the guidebook says that none of the kids that do this are older then twelve, I assume that I am taller then them. So as soon as a bunch of kids surround me. I hold my wallet over my head. And laugh. And start making condescending comments like; "cant reach it can you," "Having a little trouble there aren't you," "don't worry one day people will be able to see you." After this fun experience I expect to see someone my age, boy or girl, and then I will return to my own bleak existence.
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Praise g-d [Jul. 29th, 2005|09:53 am]

Summer school is over for some people today. Yippee! (SN:What is the correct spelling of yippee)
Today I have to take my final test. And that will be that. This was the pinnacle of my smc carer. No class schedule for me will be as hard as previous spring and summer. I will finally have some free time again.
What will do in my free time? O-o-o-o-h woudn't you like to know.

Think of my schedule like a the river. Starting out strong because of melted snow but gradually that river becomes less and less as result of streams and tributaries which siphon off water from the main flow.
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This is probably one of the funniest things I have read in my Life. Enjoy! [Jul. 26th, 2005|10:44 pm]
Dear Limey assholes

Last week G2 launched Operation Clark County to help readers have a say in the American election by writing to undecided voters in the crucial state of Ohio. In the first three days, more than 11,000 people requested addresses. Here is some of the reaction to the project that we received from the US

Monday October 18, 2004
The Guardian

Dear wonderful, loving friends from abroad,
We Ohioans are an ornery sort and don't take meddling well, even if it comes from people we admire and with their sincere goodwill. We are a fairly closed community overall. In my town of Springfield, I feel that there are some that consider people from the nearby cities of Columbus or Dayton, as "foreigners"- let alone someone from outside our country.
Springfield, Ohio

Article continues



Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.
Wading River, NY
Right on! Just wanted to say thanks from California for your effort and concern. This IS a very important election ... There are so many people here in the States that care about the impact America has on the rest of the world. I am personally saddened for the loss of all innocent lives. The best statement Americans can make to the rest of the world is to not elect Bush for president. Thank you so much for getting involved in our world.

Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys.
United States

I am a student and life-long resident of Clark County, Ohio. I just wanted you to know that this is a wonderful idea you've initiated; people here love and respect the United Kingdom, especially the prime minister. I hope this campaign will be successful for your newspaper and for us voters.
Springfield, Ohio


Shame on you for using the people of Ohio like this. The US presidental election isn't just about foreign policy, it's about healthcare, taxes, education, transportation, natural resources and all manner of issues with little to no impact on the people of Britain.

We live in a globalised, interconnected world. If China shuts its borders to US imports, you better believe American companies, shareholders and workers are affected. Should US citizens therefore have a direct say in Chinese policies? No - Americans should demand that their own elected leaders address the issues with their Chinese counterparts. The British have a similar voice in US policies - through your own elected representatives who have any number of diplomatic, economic and military tools at their disposal. You vote for your leaders and we'll vote for ours. Your problem is with your leaders, not ours.
Washington DC

Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it.
Texas, USA

Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a wonderful idea! I am a US citizen who is scared to death that Bush and Klan will get back in. We need all the help we can get to ditch this bunch of maniacs.
United States

I just read a hilarious proposal to involve your readership in the upcoming US presidential election. At least, I'm hoping that it is genius satire. Nothing will do more to undermine the Democratic cause in Ohio than having patronising Brits wander around Clark County telling people how to vote. Just, for a second, imagine if the Washington Post sent folks from Ohio to do the same in Oxfordshire. I'm saying this as a Democrat, and as someone who has spent the last few years in the UK. That is, with all due respect. Please, please, be rational, and move slowly away from the self-defeating hubris.
United States

I enjoy reading your paper and agree with your politics, but this is really too much.Your plan, if carried out, will hurt the Bush opposition TERRIBLY. We cannot afford to have this associated with John Kerry or anyone else. It will be; the press is going in for a kill, days before the election.
United States

Your idea is superb and frankly, we need a little help over here right now.

My dear, beloved Brits,
I understand the Guardian is sponsoring a service where British citizens write to Americans to advise them on how to vote. Thank heavens! I was adrift in a sea of confusion and you are my beacon of hope!

Feel free to respond to this email with your advice. Please keep in mind that I am something of an anglophile, so this is not confrontational. Please remember, too, that I am merely an American. That means I am not very bright. It means I have no culture or sense of history. It also means that I am barely literate, so please don't use big, fancy words.

Set me straight, folks!
Dayton, Ohio

Hey England, Scotland and Wales,
Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!!
United States

Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI.
United States

As an American who is very anti-Bush, I applaud your letter-writing campaign. I have read some of the letters that you published, and while I agree with most of the content, I also believe they will not be persuasive. This is because they are too aggressive and, as stated on your website, you don't know anything about these voters. If they happen to be leaning toward Bush, these letters will not put them off.
New York


Harlan, Kentucky

We all enjoyed this at work. Cheers.
United States

Thank you for taking such an active interest in the elections here in America. I appreciate what the Guardian is doing. Your effort to reach out to "swing states" and make a difference is commendable. I hope that many of your readers will take your challenge to help make a change in Washington by contacting voters.
Clarke County, Georgia

Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. Fuck off and die asshole!!!!!
Knoxville, Iowa

Gentle folks at the Guardian,
In your plea to get your non-American readers to write to voters in Clark County, Iowa, you are correct that events in the US have had, and will have, effects on world events. For example, we have pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in two world wars that were occasioned by European diplomacy. Maybe you'd like a vote in which American president will oversee the next rescue. The next time you have elections in Great Britain, I shall endeavour to send names of your citizens to people in France, Iraq, India, the United Arab Emirates, Botswana, Pakistan, China and Argentina so that they may attempt to influence your election. It's only fair that everybody in the world should have a say in the selection of the prime minister.

Mind your own flipping business.
United States

Dear Guardian folks,
While I empathise with your plight, this attempt to influence voters by sending letters from foreigners will have a negative effect on your ultimate goal. You will cause people to empathise with the president, not the other way around. People will read these letters and say, "John Le who? Never heard of him, but who is he to tell me who to vote for?"

I am a registered voter in Clark County, Ohio, and am very much interested in hearing what our overseas friends have to say about our election. You are correct in assuming that this election in the US is the most important election in memory. The threat of terrorism is a very real threat, not just in our country, but all over the world. In this day and age there must be worldwide unity against these fanatical groups who just hate. Not just Americans, but all western civilisation.
United States

Thanks for running this initiative. It may be the only way I get to have an impact on the American election, despite the fact that I'm a registered American voter. See, I vote in New York, which is solidly Democratic. Due to the electoral college system, once a majority is secured in any state, subsequent votes don't really matter. Whether NY goes 51% or 99%, the impact on who actually wins is the same. So thanks for the opportunity to impact somebody else's vote, where it may really matter.
Amsterdam, Holland

Who in the hell do you think you are??? Well, I'll tell you, you're a bunch of meddling socialist pricks! Stay the hell out of our country and politics. And another thing, John Kerry is a worthless lying sack of crap so it doesn't surprise me that a socialist rag like yours would back him. I hope your cynical ploy blows up in your cowardly faces, you bunch of mealy-mouthed morons!
United States

I used to visit the UK every year. I love the history and culture of your country. But after I heard about your campaign to influence our elections, I've decided that neither myself, nor my family will ever visit again. I'm offended by your campaign and because of it, I'm remembering more of the negative aspects I've seen in the UK than the positive ones. Though I still love the castles!

Dear British friends,
I think you have an interesting idea to encourage international grassroots efforts, but I sincerely doubt most Springfielders are going to be influenced by letters from a country they probably can't even point to on a map. I wish you luck with your campaign, but I warn you that you're not likely to accomplish much.
Dayton, Ohio

You radical leftwingers are worse than the Taliban. I suggest you stand back and take a good hard look at yourselves.

PS: When do you propose to add Michael Moore to your staff of lunatics?
United States

I suggest that if a particular reader of the Guardian would like to vote in America - would really like to influence the American election, say - that reader should move to America, become a citizen of the United States. Everyone is welcome here. Even the readers of the Guardian. But if you don't wish to be an American, to live in Ohio, for instance, and participate in the American political process, that is too bad. Perhaps there is something wrong with you. Perhaps it is your teeth.
New York

Go back to sipping your tea and leave our people alone.

As an American who is afraid of the terrible ramifications if Bush is elected, I commend your efforts to try to get Britons involved. Although many Americans would be critical of British people "meddling" with our politics and elections, all the world will share in the disaster if Bush is re-elected. Many of us are very concerned. I teach young adults, most of whom have been very uninvolved in voting and politics. Many of them are going to vote. We need all the help we can get.
United States

As a US citizen, I want to advise you that you and anyone that participates in subverting the US presidential election can be criminally charged and perhaps even charged as spies.

Thank God above for you English! Just when I was beginning to despair at the thought of Bush being re-elected, you come along with a strategy to help us! Your invitation to your readership and rationale for offering it are provocative at the least, and laudable at best.
Springfield, Ohio
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アーロンブィレンザの金曜日 [Jul. 13th, 2005|10:25 am]
昨日が、大変です。まず 私の自転車輪盗みました。人が貧乏でぬすみます。いつも黒いです。
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(no subject) [Jul. 11th, 2005|12:57 pm]
The fatass canadian has finally figured out the notion of erasing comments that offended him. Of course, by responding to those comments, and then erasing rebuttals he is a pussy. But I was growing tired of Dave fattler anyway. I mean come on he's fat.

Anyway school has been keeping me pretty busy thats why I dont update my journal as often as I should.

This trend will continue for the next few weeks.

Sorry, I do know how my journal is inspirational to thousands of young cpms around the globe. And often it is only my journal that keeps them going through your crappy cpm lives.
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(no subject) [Jul. 5th, 2005|11:27 am]
User: dave_littler (6493242)
Dave Littler's Tall Blog of Strength!
Love my mighty fist!
Name: dave_littler
Website: Dave Littler's New Deal
Location: Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada
Birthdate: 1978-06-28
Bio: I am Dave! I am tall! I am strong! I bring order to your life, because you love me, and will obey me! All beings will know the gift which is my order, and all beings will know my love! There is nothing that I cannot do, and there is nothing which is done which is not to my will! I am Dave! I am tall! I am strong! Know the love which is my order, and rejoice!

The true bio of dave lettler

Dave fatlers short fat blog of weakness
love my tiny penis
name: dave_fatler
website: Dave biglers fatassarama
location: craptown Canada
Birthday:1978-06-28 (What a loser Im 27, get a job melon head)
Bio: I am Dave! I am fat! I am short! I am a loser, no one care about me because of these reasons. I like living in my parents basement making crappy comics and periodically masturbating to startrek pictures. Wahoosh. Finally Im Canadian because g-d has giving me so little I'm an atheist. I am Dave! I am fat! I am short! I am a loser!
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